ALIMONY === MORAL BANKRUPTCY.

Alimony generally means sum of money payable by man to a woman and in some rare occassions from a woman to man once they do not live together is a sign of moral bankruptcy. And here's why...

Marriage is striking similar to Employment.

Marriage is contractual Union between man and Woman.
Employment is contractual Union between Employer and Employee.

Marriage is Voluntary For Man and Woman.
Employment is Voluntary For Employer and Employee.

In a traditional role, Man brings in money while Woman manages the day-to-day activities of the household using money. Employee knows more low level details.

In a traditional role, Employer invests (brings in) money while Employee manages the day-to-day activities of the business/work using money. Woman knows more household details.

Often, Employer goes out and brings in new contracts that will earn money for the business while employee stays back and looks after.

Often, Man goes out and performs jobs and activities that earn money for the household while wife stays back and looks after.

Man provides the adequate funds to purchase material needs of woman.

Employer provides the adequate funds to purchase material needs of Employee.

Employee provides the services that save time and energy for Employer. e.g. organizing files.

Woman provides the services that save some time and energy for the man. e.g. cooking food

If all is well, Man and Woman unite bodies to have off-springs which serves to expand/grow the household. Children are oft-quoted purpose behind the Marriage.

If all is well, Employer and Employee unite minds to embark on Projects that expand/grow the business. Projects generally improve existing situations and oft-declared purpose behind the Employment.

Once the projects are started, Employee spends more time looking after every little detail and ensuring that project grows into a economically profitable project to the best of employee’s ability. Employee looks after the hardest aspects of project and those that need undivided attention and consume most of the business time of the employee.

Once the children are brought to life, Woman spends more time looking after every little detail and ensuring that children grows into the socially profitable human ever possible to the best of women’s ability. Woman looks after the hardest aspects of project and those that need undivided attention and consume most of the household time of the Woman.

Career Growth, designation and perks of the employee are directly linked to the fate of the project. Competent Employees manage the whole businesses.

Stature Growth, designation and perks of the woman are directly linked to the fate of the children. Competent woman manage the households.

In modern healthy households. both man and woman have to work just equally hard. They come up with their own rules of dividing work load amongst themselves and manage to thrive. Men do cook when needed.

In modern healthy businesses, both employer and employee have to work just equally hard. They come up with their own rules of dividing work load amongst themselves and manage to thrive. Employers do manage files when needed.

This kind of Similarity list can go on and on.

As is evident in the above comparisons, both marriage and employment are synergy of two with complementary capabilities.

However, now come the parts where marriage tilts in favour of the women

Employers contribute for future financial support (Pension) of the employee. Employees accrue it during their working life and only get after they've stayed in Employment for certain number of years.

Man contributes for future financial support of the woman. Large number of Women demand 60%-70% of total assets as their entitlement from the day one of entering into the marriage.
In most places of employments, both employer and employee work. Employee usually does the harder work but employer keeps bigger parts of earnings since he/she took more risks in first place by hiring the employee.

In most marriages, both man and woman work. Man usually does the harder or more difficult work. Man is not entitled to keeps bigger parts of earnings even when he is taking more risks in first place by marrying the woman.

Let us for sake of argument, asssume that in modern marriages both man and woman work equally hard and contribute same magnitude of resources into the marriage. Woman usually strives to protect her entire contribution while dividing man's contribution in two unequal halves. Woman wants to keep bigger half.

If the employee resigns or is fired, employee may be eligible for severance pay to cover his short term/immediate needs (usually a month or two). Severance is not related to the earning potential of the employer or the assets in the business regardless of who worked to acquire them. Severance is provided to those employees who gives adequate notice and there is no act of treason or all the projects/ documents are in acceptable state. Employee does the work. Employer looks after basic needs of employee with few perks. Severance is determined on worth of employee.

If the woman abandons or is divorced, woman is almost certainly eligible for alimony amounts that may be enough to cover needs for rest of her life. Alimony is demanded even if woman gives no notice whatsoever, commits multiple acts of treason, treacherously jeopardizes and deliberately destroys the projects and the household.
Alimony is determined on earning capacity of Man.

If the employee after resigning from the employer is unable to take care of self, it is not employer's headache. Even when employee apologises

If the woman after divorcing from the man is unable to take care of self, it is shame and headache for the man. Man has to go on apologising to woman.

Employee is not allowed to take away projects from Employer once he resigns even though he may have spent lot of labor, love and have endured pain.

Woman is allowed to take away Children from man once she divorces even though Man also may have spent lot of time, love and effort for Children.

This Comparison can also be expanded.

In Conclusion, If laws were changed such that Employment contracts were treated identically and made them tilt in favour of Employees, many employees will resign dreaming to get money without work while many employers will go out of business or have to file bankruptcies. Countries and economies would be ruined.

The constitution of India under article 14 guarantees the right to equality before law to both man and woman.

Oddly enough, there are many laws where women are treated more favourably than men. First example is the alimony laws that reaps windfall from woman who want to divorce.

A woman can claim alimony under 4 different laws - two sections under the Hindu marriage act, the alimony act, and the domestic violence act, 2005.

On the other hand, the men cannot claim alimony under the laws except under a particular section of the Hindu marriage act which is never implemented by the judiciary. Women have the same opportunities as men, in terms of education and employment.

Second Example of Law that is prejudiced towards women is tax law. The tax is lower for women and many concessions are granted to women. Men end up paying higher taxes and have to compete with women usually for equal salaries.

Alimony from man to woman or from woman to man once they do not live together is sign of morally bankruptcy.

Let us collectively abolish the whole concept of Alimony.

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This blog page is in response to midday article of Nirmal Rao

Domestic Violence in Hindi Movies

Recently, I started watching Hindi movies properly after a gap of over 20 years.
I used to avoid Hindi movies since I became adult and no longer forced to go with my parents as I used to dismiss them as emotional melodramatic Fights, Songs and Dances.

The theme of this blog is that the Hindi Movies have indeed been describing violence against men and women and possibly at equal magnitudes all along. They have shown equal amount of negative female and male characters in thousands of movies. They also show that the main person who inflicts violence on a woman is rarely her husband.

I wish to focus on movies that are reasonably successful and they depict violence, deception against the male playing a role of boyfriend or a husband.

With this blog, I am starting a list of Hindi movies that contain very specific and direct actions of violence against the husband in a matriomonial relationship. With some luck, we can get the digital videos and then create a collage of all these Hit movie using snippets from all of this. Please help me make this into a formidable collection.

First movie that I'd like to list is King Uncle, 1993
In King Uncle, a wife and a mother of 3 children is shown abandoning her husband for sake of her love life with a rich boyfriend and is the pivotal moment of the story.

SECOND Movie is Rishtey, 2002

Here the WIFE is shown as gullible and manipulated by conniving Father IN LAW who is
out to do everything within his power to kill his poor son in law and destroy his marriage.

Anil Kapoor plays role of boxer named Suraj who is forced to leave boxing due to injury. He is married to Karishma Kapoor, who is daughter of rich man Amrish Puri.
Amrish Puri harasses him for a period of about 7 years forcibly separating his daughter from him using fabricated evidence. Anil Kapoor somehow fights and manages to revive health of his child, who was born with physical deficiency.

Other Movies in this Category are Gadar, DDLJ...

I am told that Govinda has been perennial disliked son-in-law but I stay away from his movies.

Third Movie is Mera Naam Joker, 1970

It is a classic Raj Kapoor movie. Raj Kapoor gets cheated and misled in love by three women, his teacher, a circus artist and a street tramp with dreams of becoming actress. I've been told that the story resonates Raj Kapoor's own life.

Fourth Movie is Dhoom 2

Abhishek Bacchan is rebuked by his pregnant wife and his sidekick about his capability of getting married on his own. It was a light banter of talk and overall designed to humilate the husband.

There is also a Fight Sequence in start of the movie where wive's and girl friends call to harass Abhishek and his sidekick with some demands which seems bit unreal only cause they are in middle of shoot out. Wives talking in that manner is not too believable.


Fifth is Akele Hum Akele Tum,1995

Role of Husband and wife played by Aamir Khan and Manisha Koirala. Someone from SIF has told me that this movie has something to do with life of Gulzar.

Once again financially stronger Father in Law persistently objects and creates rift in married life leading husband to go through separation, single parenting, court battle eventually to lose the custody of the child. Movie does end in a reunion.

Sixth is Zubaida, 2001

I have a very deep connection with this movie. I saw this movie in whole when my wife was pregnant and for reason I still never can fathom, my infant son used to sleep within minutes of me playing a song from this movie.

Here Karishma plays the lead role of a Mother who abandons her child. It is well balanced movie.

This is what some other review said for this movie

The main character, Zubeidaa, has overlapping shades to it. Zubeidaa has fiery feminist instincts and is rebellious and tempestuous until the end. At the same time she's feminine, vulnerable and very young. She chooses to live her life the way she wants to. After giving into paternal authority once in her first marriage, she isn't willing to throw away her chance for happiness the second time. Fully aware of the prince's previous marriage and family, she's ready to accept a strange environment and a different religion for the sake of love. She makes her choices and sacrifices willingly and knowingly. Karisma has surpassed herself as the passionate, defiant, willful and troubled Zubeidaa, the truly modern woman

Seventh is Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke,1993

This is a movie that has lot of female roles with many overlapping and conflicting roles. Aamir Khan plays role of Rahul who ends up taking responsibility of struggling business and three kids.

There is a song sequence "Chikni Soorat..." depicting sexual molestation of by female workers of his garment factory.

In same movie, two other actors Badlani and Maya (played by ?, Navneet Nishan) cause havoc in life of Aamir in their desperate attempts to make him marry Maya. Badlani is Sindhi Merchant who refused credit until he realised Maya wanted to marry him and then he was overly generous and manipulative.

There is also a sequence in which Juhi fakes role of his wife to prevent engagement. It is very clearly depicted that there were people who knew Juhi was lying openly but no one spoke to support Aamir as he was falsely humilated. In that particular narrative however, it was later revealed that drama of Juhi was justified since she loved him.

Further, in the same movie, it is noteworthy that Juhi refused domination of her father into deciding her marriage and ran off providing the love triangle in story.

To be expanded..... Waiting for tips....

Invitation to Dharna Against Legal Terrorism

Is the pain of a mother lesser when her son dies relative to when her daughter dies?

Is the pain of a sister lesser when her brother dies relative to when her sister dies?

Save Indian Family Foundation invites you to a peaceful gathering to protest against the rampant and blatant misuse of pro-women marital laws against men which are resulting in large scale suicides amongst married men.

Our IMMEDIATE Demands ARE :-

1. Clear the Pending cases in the Family Courts ASAP.

2. Allocate more experienced judges and increase the Family Courts.

3. Eliminate all gender biased in marital laws making them Gender Neutral.

4. Implements Checks within the system to prevent misuse of these laws.

5. Stop the treatment Men as FREE ATM MACHINES

6. Provide Services to Curtail High Rate of suicides of married men.

7. Establish National Commission for Men, and

8. Establish Men’s Welfare Ministry,

Please come to the gathering with your friends to share your views and to address the above or any related problems.

Date: 14th February 2009
Time: 9: 30 AM to 2: 00 PM
Venue: In front of Gandhi Statue on M.G. Road, Bangalore
Invitees: All citizens of India.
Proudly Supported by:-

1. Save Family Foundation, Delhi
2. MyNation Foundation, Delhi
3. Gender Human Rights Society, Delhi
4. Rakshak Foundation, Delhi
5. Mother’s and Sister’s Initiative, Delhi
6. Protect Indian Family Foundation, Mumbai
7. Indiya Kudumba Pathukappu Iyakkam Chennai
8. All India Forgotten Women, Hyderabad
9. Rishtey, Hyderabad
10. Save Indian Family Foundation, Nagpur
11. Bharat Bachao Sangathan, Kolkata.

Volunteers you may Contact:
Virag - 99863 78801 (English)
Panduranga Katti - 94328 53272 (English)
Shiva Shankara - 97431 83369 (Kannada)
Prakash - 98804 36929 (Kannada)
93428 53272

http://www.saveindianfamily.org/ 98451 43274

Meet the Divide and Rule Demon

Over the past few days, I have been depressed and feeling completely let down. I have been reading lots of articles and emails on the groups and internet and the more I read, the more I feel depressed.

I am feeling let down because there is an emergence of a voice within me that says to me that Article 498a was not a result of incompetence on the part of the Government of India.

Contrary to what Bollywood has often portrayed, The Government of India is not collection of by blundering fools and lazy bureaucrats who inadvertently created the monster named IPC 498a.

IPC 498a is probably the most brilliantly laid out strategy of a Divide-And-Rule. The phrase “Divide-And-Rule” for many amongst us may bring images of a British Viceroy ruthlessly segregating Indian population for ruling. It is said in history books that though Hindus and Muslims fought before British came, their fights were largely political. On a social level, they had accepted existence of each other with few sporadic and violence marred attempts of conversions.

When Viewed in this manner, the strategy behind IPC 498a is the ultimate frontier. It divides the fabric of society and the line of demarcation cuts across every house in every country across the world. IPC 498a divides a man from a woman like nothing else can.

The individual who coined the name of “Save Indian Family” for our, this group did zero in on the ultimate devastation that this divide-and-rule strategy of IPC 498a will cause; most (including me) missed upon the objective behind formation of the 498a.

A proverb that comes to my mind is that “One can wake up those who are asleep; BUT one cannot wake up those who are pretending to be asleep”

All of the activities of our group are primarily geared towards collecting men and waking up the government and spread public awareness towards the atrocities that aimed towards the men. All of us are collectively beating up our chests in despair that the government (the mai-baap) does not seem to understand or listen to our pleas.

But, the government is wide awake and listening to us carefully. Alas, it is not listening to us as male victims. It views us as providers of feedback on how 498a is faring. It is just pretending to be deaf, callous and incompetent when we share our traumas due to IPC 498a. The government knows that it was precisely the intent behind IPC 498a. So, when we narrate our side with full emotions, the government is silently congratulating itself and upwardly showing sympathy to us. Government in rare candid moments does show disdain but never budges.

All of our activities are just the fuel that the IPC 498a juggernaut needs to grow: Our painstakingly created websites, our weekly meets, our Dharanas, our attempts to spread awareness, our sarcastic jabs, our direct assaults; our efforts to fight our own cases; our willingness to help other fellow distressed brothers, mothers and sisters will completely work against us unless we bear in mind that actually division is intended.

When we call our ex with word bitch we are dividing and distancing ourselves. Our efforts divide us further from the woman. We all feel angered and we all are focussed on hurting the other side. It is indeed ironic that few angered 498a woman calls her husband Kutta

Now, I suddenly understand meaning of what Swarup Sarkar said to me “The enemy is not your wife but the system”.

As I can all of a sudden visualise, 498a is supposed to divide a man from a woman. All that is required for such division to occur is that both sides feel that they more vulnerable than the other.

British achieved division of Hindus and Muslims by making Muslims leaders realize that minority will suffer under majority rule. For Hindus, they said majority will be denied privileges under minority rule. And, Pakistan was born.

The more we fight in this manner, the harder we fight, the stronger 498a will become. It seems that our efforts of protests were rewarded by the birth to Domestic Violence Laws.

It is like we are part of the Matrix movie. We are part and parcel of the IPC 498a system and our appointed role in this machine is to raise voice and vent out our fear and our anger against our former wives and the female groups reciprocate.

IPC 498a makers used their power to publicise that newly wed wives, not mothers or sisters are harassed in the typical Indian family.

When I saw the movie “Dulha Bikta hai” I was so moved by it that if someone had actually told me that the Indian government had recently formed IPC 498a that would now terrorise the husbands, I would have danced on streets.

Many like me in the Indian society accepted introduction of IPC 498a that had built-in Trojan of Divide and Rule. I've become aware of damages it caused 25 years later.

Hindu scriptures do have anecdotes of demons who grow stronger with every injury because their blood drop on ground will cause more demons. I am beginning to see 498a as something similar. We all need to know who exactly our enemy is and how we are disadvantaged.

Let us all think and share on how we can change gears and not seek to be victims of the ultimate kind.

To be continued: How do we foil this divide and rule strategy?

498A India Limited

498A India Limited
A brief look into the economics of IPC Section 498A
A Government of India Undertaking
- Original by Arnab Ganguly Edited by Kavi

Unfortunately, India has many shady industries such as Gambling, Hawala, Matka and other such clandestine operations. There is none or abysmally inadequate bookkeeping even as millions of Rupees roll through. There are no payrolls, no designations, no performance targets and no one to keep the foot soldier accountable and track performances. Any outsider will easily label such organisation unorganized and therefore inconsequential.

Rarely does an outsider realize that their biggest strength lies in being organized while appearing unorganized. It is a facade. By appearing unorganized, they can amass and circulate millions without too many hindrances.

All such industries are scorned upon and discouraged by the Government of India openly but they still continue to exist, grow in numbers and flourish.

There is one shining example amidst all this: IPC 498a. IPC 498a is an abbreviation for Indian Penal Code Section 498a whose main objective purportedly is to bring down errant husband and his family on their collective knees against wife and her family.

IPC 498A is remarkably similar to these clandestine operations. It appears severely unorganized. It allows FEW to flourish at the cost of MANY. Bookkeeping is abysmal and there are no official tables of “who is to be paid how much and for what”.

However, as one clandestine operation, IPC 498a stands completely apart and head and shoulder above all. It was started, supported, managed and sponsored by Government of India. Major players in IPC 498a are paid salaries from Public coffers.

Not surprisingly, 498A has witnessed the most growth.

This article, in giving honour to the law itself, in proud glorification of its supporter, will refer to IPC 498A henceforth as "498A India Limited – A Government of India Undertaking”

498A India Limited has performed phenomenally well in forced revenue generation from the Indian populations and it is easily a Rs. 3000 Crore per annum company .

If the Government of India was to list "498A India Limited" in a stock exchange, it would most certainly be introduced, advertised and eventually listed as a "Navratna Company"

The company report of “498A India Limited” that would be created during its Initial Public Offering would easily look like following in boasting its unique strengths

Without further ado, the Company report of “498A India Limited”

Rapid Growth: - 498A India limited has grown at a rate (over 10% per annum) faster than any other industry in India easily surpassing Information Technology and BPO. 498A sector has grown almost at the rate of 120% in the last 12 years. From just 28,579 cases in 1995 the number of cases has grown to 63,128.

Outreach to masses: In all Government of India projects, one of the objective is to reach as many people as is possible. On this factor, the balance sheet of 498a India Limited is completely black. Its organizational activities have touched and changed lives of almost 1,000,000 (ten lakhs) people. Since 1999, ten lakh people have been arrested under frivolous allegations made under the provisions of 498a India Limited.

Significance of its mass outreach becomes phenomenal, once we factor in the average amount of bail money being deposited by an average person ensnarled into the jaws of 498A India Limited. Even if assume a lowly figure of bail posted by each single arrested person of Rs 10,000 (ten thousand only), then the revenue generated for the government of India from the bail is 1,000,000 x Rs. 10,000 = Rs. 10,000,000,000
(Rupees One Thousand Crores)

According to the government rules, the bail money is to be refunded in full to its payer at the end of the trial which will last for about 7 to 8 years.

However, you are free to estimate on how many people will actually get it back or are in state to do more running around after having endured 7 to 8 year ordeal in order to get the bail amount back. In India now more than 30% bail applications are for 498A only. Your guess is as good as ours

You do not need much help to notice that main product of 498A India limited is a tool that forcibly turns the husband's family into a goose which is later forced to lay golden eggs for all the shareholders of the company.

Flagship Products:

Sales of 498A Indian limited have surpassed 20% growth over the past 12 years and registered phenomenal returns on almost negligible investments. The company has not changed its product for the past 25 years but the use of the product has grown astronomically. There has no tests done by the company to study the effects of its products have on the people on whom it has been misused although reliable reporting shows that people on whom their products are misused are harassed and extorted to no end and eventually many commit suicide.
Lifecycle of the product starts off, when a wife alone or with her family members files a simple complaint and lets this tool takes care of the rest.

The party using the products of 498A India Limited almost always get richer by few lakhs while the party on which the products are used upon suffer irrespective of gender, age or role in the family. Also another spectacular feature about the product yields better dividends when it is misused. It works so remarkably well that it is misused 98% of times and is almost never used in the right way.

Board of Directors

The Board of Directors for 498a India Limited is appointed by the Government of India and controls this organization with an iron fist. Appointments made will ensure that the chosen board has unique ability to always turn a blind eye to the people upon whom the company's products is going to have adverse effects. The board enjoys total immunity from prosecution that might result from harm caused due to the misuse of the company's products. Board members are chosen on their unique ability to not think twice before fudging numbers to show that that there is ever-increasing customer demand for their products. With utter confidence and undue recklessness, the Board made recommendation that more companies along the lines of successful “498A India Limited” be started like "DV Act India Limited" and "All Wife Death Dowry Death India limited".

Employee Welfare and Customer care

498A India Limited prides itself in being an employer of choice and takes a lot of care of its customers too. The company protects their customers who have misused its products by making themselves and their customers immune to prosecution for misuse. So the "498A India Limited" customers are the happiest lot since they get to misuse the products of the company and as and when they wish for their materialistic desires and then just walk away with a big booty.

Shareholders
The primary shareholders in the company the Police, the judiciary, the growing body of lawyers , radical NGO's and the all powerful national commission for women. The shareholders exploit wives of a relationship to destroy the husbands Given the company's phenomenal returns the shareholders do not want to dilute or modify the company's products as modification of the company's products will result in decreased revenue for the company and its shareholders.

Private Investments
This company also attracts lots of private investment from organizations like the UNIFEM and UNO. This is mainly due to the doctored customer demand reports that are submitted by the chairperson of the company to the press and media. These private grants encourage the company to create many smaller companies like "DV Act India Limited" and "All Wife Death Dowry death India limited"

Public Sentiment for the company
The people on whom the company's products have been misused and who are the 98% majority here are too weak and suffering to even respond. But there are a lot of young and old people in India who want the company's products to be modified in a way that they cannot be misused and if misused there be adequate avenues to prosecute the misusers. The chairperson of the company is trying her best at fudging numbers to project to the government and the media that their 25 year old product still confirms with the current quality standards is never misused. They also fudge numbers to show that the customer demand is increasing at a phenomenal rate for similar products and so more such companies must be set up to serve the customers better.

Final Thoughts
The Greed of a few is eating away into the lives of many who constitute nation’s family system while the Government of India, relegating its responsibility to 498a India Limited is still in a deep slumber.

The Government does not realize that the profits made by using products of by 498A India Limited are actually being paid by the population of India upon whom the company products are being brutally misused.

The government of India must realize that although the company may have been formed with a noble intention of producing products that can help for defence of the innocent, it has now been turned into a company producing products for use by "Legal terrorists". These legal terrorists then unleash extreme pain and suffering on the Indian populace and then walk away unscathed. The Government must immediately adopt stringent guidelines for the use of the company's products so that misuse is curtailed and misusers of its products are prosecuted severely.

Dulha ya Bakra? (Bridegroom or Scapegoat)

How do I start telling about a sad and bitter story that I have just narrowly escaped, but have found other unfortunate brethrens that got duped? Should I present it as my story and use the sympathy gained from readers to nurse my own insignificant wounds or should I report it as a story of an actual victim as a third person and stay objective?

I had heard word ‘Bakra’ being used again and again by few of my wife’s girlfriends in a small gathering that my wife hosted shortly after our marriage to introduce me to all her special friends. I never understood the giggles that inevitably followed. We all were Vegetarians, so what was this “Bakra” all about?

As a member of growing Indian Diaspora in Western countries, you may have heard about or known young professionally qualified men, who after arriving from India have quickly ascended into secure and well paid jobs to establish themselves into acceptable standards in foreign lands. Such Indian men are popularly referred to as FOB (Fresh off the Boat). They are pride of India and pride of the land that have chosen to reside in.

You may have also come across few young Indian men who were born and brought up in foreign lands, in a land that was adopted by their forefathers. This group of young men is popularly referred to as ABCD (American/Australian Born Confused Desi).

Irrespective of whether a guy is FOB or ABCD, at some stages in his life, he starts (or is persuaded to) searching for his life partner, a perfect quintessential woman!

Directly or indirectly his attention is drawn to large number of educated and qualified brides from India. Perhaps, you have actively participated in conversations that discuss relative merits of matrimonial websites that specialise in servicing young brides and grooms of Indian Origin.

Whether the guy is still a NRI with significant roots still back in India or he is citizen (Permanently Resident) of the land that he is now living in, he will usually browse through matrimonial advertisements appearing in Indian and local papers and increasingly on the internet sites.

But, does he know of the dangers that are lurking just beneath the surface for getting married to girls from India?

If he is naïve and gullible (like I once was), he will foresee no problems whatsoever. After all, he is well established in a foreign land and has some strength to support the woman that he is hoping to bring into his life. Moreover, his prospective bride is also going to have sort of standards. She will also be a professional and when given a chance, she will also carve out her own success story. So, what is the problem?

In one phrase, the answer is “IPC 498A”. Yep, read it again, “IPC 498A”. That one phrase can become a problem that is big enough to drive many a successful men of Indian origin to commit suicide. This is the price that these unfortunate men pay for their overseas success.

To those of you who have never heard of this phrase, it stands for “Indian Penal Code 498A”. As you may have surmised by now, “IPC 498A” is some sort of Indian law. It is a full family nightmare for those who do get trapped.

Very few men come out of IPC 498A unscathed. Most come out after having lost major portion of what they had been working for. Few come out with virtually nothing but the clothes that they were wearing. Few become angry and stay that way for rest of their lives. Few become insane or suffer from life long diseases. Few get branded and are levelled with worst terrorists of the world. Those who are not prepared to face any of this, succumb to the comfort of committing suicide.

“What the heck is IPC 498A?” Is that what I heard you ask?

Well, my fellow married or unmarried Men, watch out for this one!!!

Another name for IPC 498A is “CRUELTY BY HUSBAND AND RELATIVES”.

From what is haphazardly documented, IPC 498A was drafted by esteemed Government of India to counter the growing problem in India wherein young brides and married women that were being harassed and tortured. Purportedly, the reason for this cruelty towards women was to extort money from her parents or her relatives. And the obvious perpetrators were husband and his family members. The IPC 498A was drafted to combat any and all such cruel husbands and serve them with a swift Justice.

AHA! So you say, they deserve it! It is a miraculous that Indian government came up with a law that could provide swift justice.

But what does a torturing Indian husband have to do with a man who is not living in India? After all, the latter is a professional, who is generally well educated and surely he would not stoop down to level that may be perceived as cruelty.

Answer as it turns out is “EVERYTHING!!”

As a child, I used to hear of phrases such as “Beauty is in the eye of beholder”; “Rose by any other name would smell just as sweet”.

From the lens of IPC 498A, “Cruelty is in the eye of beholder too”.

IPC 498A allows any married woman (Marriage has to be considered as legitimate in India) to approach the police in India and make a complaint that her husband and/or his family is being cruel towards her. In lot of cases, she does not even have to give a written complaint. Her oral testimony is considered true. After all, there have been no women in India, who can lie. The oral statement provided by the grieving woman is noted down by an obliging police officer. Once this formality is completed, her testimony is considered to be a part of “State Witness”. Depending upon the relative shrewdness of the complaining woman or the police officer taking her complaint, the focus quickly shifts towards the assets that are owned by the husband and his family. The poor tortured woman is entitled to complain of being harassed by more than one individual from her husband’s family irrespective of that person’s age, gender or health.

After the complaining process is finished, the woman is free to go wherever she chooses. She is a “STATE WITNESS”. She does not have to make herself available again.

Thus, you may have gathered that Indian Government has made it is extremely easy for any married woman to make a complaint. Alas! Perhaps you have had more experience than Government of India that some women can speak lie too.

Judging from the statistics of past few years of IPC 498A (shown in a table that will be shortly attached), it seems that 98% of women in India who have made complaints under IPC 498A have resorted to various degrees of lie. Perhaps, the magnitude and intensity of lie uttered by a woman depends upon the upbringing and family values that she was taught as a little girl.

Remember, I said that “IPC 498A” was designed to serve swift justice. In a policy that is akin to “Shoot first, Verify identity later (if at all)” philosophy, IPC 498A allows Indian Police to promptly prepare arrest warrants for everyone that is named in the woman’s complaint.

The most startling aspect of the IPC 498A arrest warrants is that the Indian bureaucratic machinery responsible for preparing them somehow manages to conclude bulk of their task on Friday afternoon! So, everyone who is named in the complaint under IPC 498A gets arrested on Friday evening. Since the courts are not fully operational on Saturday and Sunday, most of the people who are arrested spend their weekend inside a police lockup. Most usually get bails by Monday or Tuesday to be released from custody of Police, but bail is after all a bail. It is essentially a virtual arrest wherein you have freedom to move about instead of being locked up one place.

Constant presence of young and successful NRI men eagerly browsing the matrimonial websites to search for their life partners in India completes the picture. While the Indian law in itself does not seem to discriminate against NRI, the prospective brides, her family and the Police certainly seem to have a formula that is well suited to a NRI.

A NRI man may find that shortly after his marriage, his newly wed wife from India is behaving very differently from what she used to. She has generally become more demanding and gets too angry too fast. He may try to reason with her or perhaps consider sending her back to India.

Maybe, she is too depressed by having seen overseas life with all its gloss removed, or she had a boy-friend back in India that her parents did not approve of. Each woman had unique set of reasons and the sentiments towards her marriage. It becomes a problem if a woman was unscrupulous to start with or she can be talked into making an IPC 498A complaint. If she is born and bred in Urban India, she may be bold enough to do it herself.

There are police stations in India that specialise in providing ready made typed IPC 498A complaint documents that only need to be read out by the woman, since many still do not know on how and what to complain about. She is encouraged to add the relatives of husband who are living locally.

What if she is not prepared to read, “No problems, Ma’am!” There will usually be some member of police force, who, on behalf of the woman will be eager to read out her complaints/ self experiences from an already typed document.

It was extremely puzzling to read that almost all the NRI from Northern India were accused of holding and dragging their estranged wife by her hair while brethren from South were accused of beating her with his footwear. The repetitive violence stories were as puzzling as they were unsettling. Surely the Indian men had to have some variations on how they had abused their ex-wives. You could predict what was going to be in paragraph 5 of the complaint solely based upon the men’s name in paragraph 1. This enigma was solved after the discovery of ready made 498A complaint sheets. The BEST example of Indian supportiveness and “Indian Ingenuity, Global Impact”!

The woman is advised by police to not contact her husband or his family until all the paperwork is ready. After the paperwork is ready, she is advised to contact them and to make her specific demands known giving them extremely short time to comply. If they do not agree, the police swings into action and makes few arrests. The hell breaks lose.

If a husband is overseas when he comes to know of this, he has two options. First is to immediately succumb to his wife’s demands. It is a price that he has to pay to free members of his family who are in jail. He may attempt to fly to India to sort out the mess. He usually has no idea that he is headed directly into jail. Once, in India, he may be arrested on bail and cannot go back to his normal country of residence. His passport is taken away to ensure this. He has to stay until his trial is heard. In that case, he loses his job, his car, his house, etc…

The easiest way out of this predicament is to settle with his wife, which usually means that he has to pay her (or her family) large sum of money. The fact that he’d also be signing a divorce papers is a certainty. After he has been fleeced, he is free to go back to his foreign country so as to nurse his wounds or earn money to pay off the loan that he had to take to buy his freedom.

These men are perhaps the luckiest (sorry!!! least unfortunate) in terms of actual injuries. Unless you consider the fact that he will now be carrying his silent and unspoken wounds and emotional scars of being scammed for rest of his life.

It progressively gets worse for the rest. Those who are smart enough to stay overseas and choose to fight with the complaint of wife have to put up with extremely slow court machinery of India. The actual case of 498A is likely to see trial after 7 years in waiting. In all those 7 years, he, his parents and his relatives are under bail (arrest without being in jail).

Perhaps, those who do not have any family in India, or those whose wife did not name anyone other than the husband are less unfortunate. You might be inclined to think that, but you are wrong.

For a woman with some clout and police who are determined to get him, they have an option of Interpol. Police can issue an Interpol “Red Corner Notice” for such people. Interpol alert as you may already know is usually reserved for hardened criminals such as serial murderers, terrorists and drug dealers.

I have heard about a brilliant and successful software programmer (only child of his parents) who initially tried to hide somewhere in USA after his beloved wife put him on Interpol red corner notice for him. She had gone to India for her sister’s wedding and never came back to him. She went to Police to claim that her husband had asked for Rs. 1,00,000/- from her parents! The husband used to work in a large multinational before he got listed on Interpol, from which he was sacked as soon as his American manager came to know of his Interpol status. No sane company will want to hire a person who is branded akin to a terrorist. It took him over 6 months to realize what he had been dealt with only to be shot by a vigilant US police officer who recognized him. His father succumbed to heart attack shortly after his son’s death. His mother is not so lucky. She is still alive and locked up in a mental hospital chanting either “My husband did not ask for Rs. 1,00,000!!!” or “Give me Rs. 1,00,000, I need to send that to USA to bring my son back to life”. Her Doctors think that her son was a terrorist who was killed by US Police and he probably was involved in September 2001 attacks.

What happened to his former wife? She was never called to any court or police station again. After maintaining silence for about 5 years, she finally confessed that no one had asked her for any money, but she was upset with her husband who had refused to buy her a Lexus and was only prepared to spend for Honda. She cried openly. Was it for the turmoil that she had caused or was it for the car that she never got to drive?

Watch out my fellow unmarried brothers, after few meaningless affairs, this beautiful and charming young woman is back on internet marriage market. She has now grown wiser and is currently looking for “well educated, smart, successful and down to earth NRI Dulha”.

Or shall I say “Bakra”?

(A small fictionalised story based upon innumerable true stories as an offering to almighty God to bring an end to IPC 498A)

As per the IPC 497 ,,,

As per the IPC 497, which states

"Whoever has sexual intervourse with a person who is and whom he knows or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offense of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to give years, or with fine or with both. In such case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor."

The law also says,

"The contemplation of the law, evidently is that the wife, who is involved in an illicit relationship with another man is a victim and not the author of the crime. An unfaithful husband risks, or perhaps, invites a civil action by the wife for separation. One feels that there is much weight in the observation of the Supreme court when it says that the change of female life is not perhaps too right and the wife who is seduced is really the victim and not the author of the crime. In this background perhaps time is not yet ripe to punish women for adultery."

More and more women are engaged in extramarital affairs (which we all know) and husband can't file a case of adultery against her as per century old laws. The law looks at women only from one angle. Women are always innocent. If women are into some extramarital affairs, her husband can be booked as an abettor and punishable and not vice-versa.

Upon looking closely at this law, it becomes apparent that following assumptions are being made.

1) It assumes that woman as a possession of man (Man can only allow his wife to someone else if she is fully under her possession).

This assumption is in direct contradiction to Hindu marriage principles in which word
"Saha-dharma-aacharini" was used and should not even be therein Hindu Marriage
laws.

2) Woman have no mind of their own and will only do what they are told.

Obviously author of this law lived in jungle all his life and never really came across any average women. Even the most subservient woman will take her revenge as many times as she feels the need to.

3) Then law contradicts itself and says "some of the woman may try to classify it as a rape".

Was this author's self experience talking?

4) Law continues with its presumption of stupid woman to arrive at punishment.

Since woman is brainless, whats the use in punishing her?

With this kind of law, no smart woman will want to change it.

With this kind of law, I am very surprised that Indian society remained (or carried) in monogamy for so long. Law utterly and completely disregards the fact that for one straight intercourse to occur, you need one willing (and erectable) male and one willing (and lubricated) female. Fact that females can lubricate under fear or self-defence (as in rape) can diminish her willingness.

Also, law does not answer the question, what would intercourse be called if I accept money to allow someone to have intercourse with my possession (wife).

And who would own the child if she does end up with one? Who wrote this law?
Obviously some real "Lord of the last bench"

This law is actually male-superiority based and thinks of woman as stupid or brainless. Few of the Woman accepted this verdict of stupidity very smartly and can readily distort it beyond belief.

We have to give these smart woman all the credit they deserve for twisting law as soon as they got to it.